Buddhism is a great analytical study of this question!

For me what made me get it is looking at self and not self as verb and noun.

The “noun” of the self is the illusion, and the “reality” of the self is a verb.

The illusion is not just “self” but “self and other” as separate and not apart of 1 whole system.

It’s not so much that we are deceived by the illusion as it is we are attached to the illusion.

This question is the heart of the”two truths” or two realities, one subjective and illusory and the other absolute